Understanding Masking: Autism, ADHD and AuDHD

What is masking and why do people do it?

Masking, which means hiding or changing parts of yourself to fit social expectations, is something most people do at times. But the way it shows up, and the impact it has, can be very different for neurotypical and neurodivergent people.

How is masking different for neurotypical and neurodivergent people?

Both neurodivergent (e.g. ADHDers, autistics) and neurotypical masking can involve adapting behaviours, vocal tone, facial expressions, and body language.

For neurotypical people, masking usually happens in specific situations, like at work or formal events. It’s often a conscious choice to behave in a way that feels socially appropriate, and it tends to be temporary rather than changing how they see themselves deep down.

However, for neurodivergent individuals and some marginalised groups, masking can look and feel very different. In these cases, it can mean hiding parts of who they are to stay safe or avoid discrimination. This type of masking is often more complex and layered, touching on multiple parts of identity and can feel more like a survival strategy than a simple social adjustment.

For these groups, masking can be frequent, automatic, and starts early in life as differences begin to be highlighted. For example, ADHD children have been estimated to receive around 20,000 more negative comments by age 12 than neurotypical children. They learn to hide natural behaviours or ways of being in order to avoid criticism.

Some neurodivergent people consciously hide what they feel is “too much” or “not acceptable” about themselves. Many find that masking becomes harder and more draining as they get older - especially for women, as changes in oestrogen make it harder to maintain.

Why can masking be harmful?

Masking can be a helpful short-term tool to protect against criticism, stigma, or exclusion, but when it becomes a long-term survival strategy, it can be deeply harmful.

Many neurodivergent people develop internalised shame and low self-worth from feeling unsafe to be themselves and pressured to conform. Over time, constantly suppressing natural behaviours and monitoring for rejection keeps the nervous system in chronic stress, leading to hypervigilance, burnout, and even dissociation- a state of feeling unreal, numb, detached from one’s thoughts, body, and identity.

Masking can also involve hiding physical pain, pushing through sensory discomfort without showing it, resulting in using harmful coping strategies like disordered eating, alcohol, or self-harm. Autistic masking especially has been linked with serious mental health consequences, including suicidality.

For some, masking has led to being disbelieved by others - including healthcare professionals - about their neurodivergence or physical pain. This can delay diagnosis and make it harder to get support.

Why does masking fidgets and stims makes it harder to cope?

Masking often involves suppressing natural behaviours like stimming - those repetitive movements or sounds that help regulate the nervous system. Stims and fidgets are important coping strategies that protect against sensory overwhelm. Suppressing them can lead to more emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and sensory overload and more difficulty detecting the body’s signals, like feeling hungry, stressed, or tired.

How is autistic masking different from ADHD masking?

Most research on masking has focused on autistics, but masking happens in both autistic people and ADHDers, though in different ways.

Autistic masking may involve using strategies like copying facial expressions, forcing eye contact, or rehearsing conversations - possibly because they face more challenges with social communication and acceptance.

ADHD masking may involve over-preparing, overworking, hiding impulsivity, suppressing hyperactivity, or mimicking organisational systems to appear “together” and avoid criticism. They might also people-please or downplay struggles with time or memory.

Masking when you’re AuDHD (ADHD + autism)

Interestingly, studies have found that autistic traits, rather than ADHD traits, are a stronger predictor of how much someone masks. ADHD traits alone don’t strongly predict masking behaviour.

This raises an important question for people with both ADHD and autism: If someone has stronger autistic traits, even within a mixed profile (AuDHD), do they mask more?

While more research is needed, current evidence suggests this might be true. People with stronger autistic traits may feel more pressure to mask, regardless of also having ADHD.

Summary- Key differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical masking:

• Purpose: NT masking is usually about fitting in to a particular situation, while ND and marginalised masking often aims to protect against stigma or harm.

• How often it happens: NT masking tends to be occasional and chosen, while ND and marginalised people often mask frequently and sometimes without realising it.

• Effect on self: NT masking usually doesn’t change how people see themselves. For ND and marginalised individuals, masking can create deep disconnection and exhaustion.

• Emotional cost: NT masking usually doesn’t cause as much emotional strain. ND and marginalised masking can lead to anxiety, burnout, and serious mental health issues.

Support for unmasking: Where to start

Understanding these differences helps us see why masking can feel so heavy and why supporting people to unmask and feel safe to be themselves really matters.

Small steps can involve reconnecting with what brings you energy, identifying your needs without judgement, learning to recognise who and what makes you feel safe and what safe feels like in your body, or learning to trust your internal cues again.

Coaching can offer a supportive space to begin that process, gently and at your own pace.

Note: While “masking” is often used as a catch-all term, researchers sometimes describe these strategies more specifically as masking, compensation, and assimilation. For simplicity, this article uses “masking” to cover all these experiences.

References:

Pearson, A., & Rees, J. (2020). ‘Masking is Life’: Experiences of Masking in Autistic and Non-Autistic Adults.

Van Der Putten, W. J., Mol, A. J. J., Groenman, A. P., Radhoe, T. A., Torenvliet, C., van Rentergem, J. A., & Geurts, H. M. (2024). Is camouflaging unique for autism? A comparison of camouflaging between adults with autism and ADHD. Autism Research, 17(4), 812-823.